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Welcome, one and all, to tonight’s coverage of AEW Dynamite on TBS! We are live in Sacramento!
Ian Riccaboni, Excalibur, and Taz are on the call for tonight’s action. We are on the road to Revolution this Sunday night!
MJF is outside the arena, and he is furious with Hangman Page. He is absolutely irate.
Tony Schiavone is in the ring and brings out Swerve Strickland. Swerve has a huge #1 contender’s match this Sunday against Ricochet, and tonight is the contract signing. Later tonight, these two will also team up for a tag match—against The Undertak—wait, sorry, Teddy Long isn’t here. Ricochet, notably, did not bring out the robe tonight and mocks the time Swerve’s House burned down. The crowd is all over Ricochet. He finally signs the contract, and Swerve promises to expose Ricochet to the world. Swerve vows to put Ricochet in the ground. Ricochet attacks Swerve with scissors, but Swerve blocks it and counters with a pair of scissors of his own.
This is the first Dynamite I’ve watched in five weeks. Starting fresh as can be. OMG—there’s an eight-man tag match tonight! We also see a plug for the Prime Video PPV deal.
The eight-man tag match between Will Ospreay, Orange Cassidy, Mark Briscoe, and Powerhouse Hobbs vs. Brian Cage, Lance Archer, Bryan Keith, and Mark Davis is up first.
The commentators discuss Orange Cassidy teaming with Big Boom AJ this Sunday at Zero Hour. Are you freaking kidding me?! You spent six years pitching Cassidy as a top guy, and now he’s third fiddle to Big Boom and his son? It was one thing when QT Marshall was in this position—he understands his role and doesn’t take himself too seriously. But Big Boom AJ? He likes Double Chunk Chocolate Cookies, and his kid is addicted to chicken bakes (whatever the hell those are) and Pokémon cards.
In the ring, Cage and Archer are dominating Cassidy. The commentators are already teasing that Mark Davis might not be fully committed to the Don Callis Family. I haven’t been gone that long—are we already talking about taking Davis out of the group?
We’re back from break, and I have to say, my hiatus has taught me a few things—among them, no one on the heel side of this match screams “threat” to me. Hobbs? That guy should be an outright star by now. Hobbs nails a huge clothesline on Keith. An eight-man “war” breaks out, and Mark Briscoe completely takes over. Archer brings a chair into the ring, but Briscoe punches it out of his hands and uses it as a springboard. Somewhere in all of this, Ospreay pins Keith for the win.
After the match, Archer and Cage powerbomb Hobbs onto the steps. Kyle Fletcher comes out and attacks a beaten-down Ospreay. He and Davis argue—wait, didn’t Davis just join this group? Fletcher then suplexes Ospreay onto a chair.
We see a preview of Kenny Omega vs. Konosuke Takeshita for this Sunday.
Time for Wheeler Yuta vs. Cope. We get a recap of last week’s attack on Pac and Marina Shafir. The story seems to be that Cope is taking out the Death Riders before Sunday so no one can help Jon Moxley. The crowd is behind Cope as they lock up. Cope is toying with Yuta, while Ian Riccaboni reminds us how dangerous Yuta is as a former Pure Champion. Yuta is winning the technical exchanges, and commentary emphasizes that Cope needs to get down and dirty.
As we return from commercial, Yuta has Cope locked in a bulldog choke. Cope fights out, but Yuta follows up with a headbutt and a splash. I can’t imagine Moxley doesn’t show up at some point. Cope hits the spear for the win. Let’s see if I’m right—nope, I’m wrong. Cope shakes Yuta’s hand and talks about respect.
Wait! I am right. Moxley shows up and slaps Yuta around. Yuta storms off, and Moxley cuts a promo on Cope backstage.
We hear from The Outrunners ahead of their match at Revolution.
Hangman Page has chased MJF into the arena, but MJF gets the jump on him. He low-blows Hangman and goes to work on him. Security is completely ineffective. Page gets laid out with the Dynamite Diamond Ring. MJF grabs lighter fluid and douses Page with it. Referees rush in and mercifully stop this.
Lexi Nair is with Ash Avildsen, the director of Queen of the Ring. Toni Storm interrupts, complaining that her nude scene was cut. I have to admit—that upsets me too.
Next up: Kris Statlander & Thunder Rosa vs. Penelope Ford & Megan Bayne. Hopefully, Rosa, Statlander, and Ford can get back on track. Bayne is the hot new arrival—no way should she lose here. I like Thunder Rosa’s reinvention. Bayne shows off her impressive power, throwing Rosa and Ford out of the ring (Ford landing on top of her opponents).
I can’t quite figure out who Bayne reminds me of yet, but I like her. Statlander tags in and displays her strength. Rosa and Ford take over for a bit, but Bayne hits an F5 on Rosa for the win. Right call—Bayne needed this victory. This won’t hurt Rosa at all, aside from pushing her as an underdog.
Mercedes Moné joins Renée Paquette and discusses her title defense on Sunday.
Here comes Max Caster with his trademark paperwork. Oddly enough, I’m friends with the attorney who wrote it up. It’s open challenge time! Jay White answers the call. Let’s throw it back to the old days:
WINNER: JAY WHITE
Bear in mind, I wrote that before the match even started. The match lasts 11 seconds total. Gotta admit—I liked Max more when he was with Bowens and Gunn.
White grabs the mic and vows to support Cope against Moxley on Sunday. So… this guarantees White is screwing Cope on Sunday, right?
Renée is backstage with Toni Storm and Mariah May. May is playing the victim, cutting an impassioned promo on the champion. Storm sentences her to a career of mediocrity and tells her to “try and kill God.” I have to admit—this was great stuff, though maybe a little too short.
Main event time: Brody King & Swerve Strickland vs. Ricochet & Kazuchika Okada. A tag team preview of two matches we’re getting Sunday, which you can follow right here on PWInsider.com. I like all four of these guys, but they haven’t done anything to make me think King has any shot at winning the Continental Title on Sunday. I love the guy, but all he does is lose.
Rant time. This is the go-home show for a PPV. As someone who, unfortunately, hasn’t watched much lately, I have to admit—nothing except the 90-second Storm & May segment made me excited for Revolution. As attendance and ratings decline, AEW cannot afford to make their PPVs feel like “maybe-sees.” The matches will no doubt be solid, but I just don’t feel the excitement I should four days before the event.
Put it this way: it’s 9:58 PM on the East Coast, and I’m actually hoping they go off the air on time. This episode, quite honestly, has been a chore to watch. NOTHING but respect for the talent, but I’m just not invested. I’m supposed to be gung-ho about this, ready and raring to go for Sunday. That’s not happening.
I half-expected the show to end with a massive brawl between all the PPV competitors. Instead, we get a Daniel Garcia match announcement for Collision. I remember that guy.
King misses a cannonball on Okada. Ricochet scores the pin on Swerve after a belt shot, and—thankfully, mercifully—this episode of Dynamite comes to an end.
We go to credits. Thanks for reading.
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